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At 50 ‘something’ years old, you’d think I’d escape the drill. But there is no escape. It sucks me in every year and every year I end up 5 pounds heavier with a 5K t-shirt for a race I didn’t even run. (Don’t judge me, I paid that non-refundable fee, so I’m picking up the shirt and wearing it!)

But what if this year, instead of yet another false start, I simply resolve to lower my new year expectations and resolve to have a year of mediocrity.

So here we go again...in 2025 I resolve to:

1. Eat less dairy. Don’t stand in front of the fridge and spray whipped cream directly in your mouth late at night. Wait until morning and spray it into your coffee!

2. Eat more vegetables. Potatoes and corn are vegetables. Frying them in olive oil makes them a super food.

3. Work out more. Old people consider stretching to be an activity. I can stretch. I can stretch a lot!

4. Be a nicer person. Say “bless your heart” before doing or saying anything ugly. Now that I’m old, I’m told I can get away with this!

5. Spend less money. Avoid people you work with who have young kids. They will undoubtedly try to sell you overpriced frozen cookie dough.

6. Learn something new. Watching multiple Netflix documentaries on serial killers counts. Creep but counts.

7. Thru 10. Don’t bother. This is your year of doing just enough to get by. Five was good enough and six was already a little extra.

So here’s to 2025, may it finally be OUR year!!