ÐÔÊÓ½çAPP

All and all, the ebony and ivory striped marauders are not too often run down while crossing busy thoroughfares. Unlike their cousins (Although neither would admit kinship.) the ‘possums who seem destined to end it all on the asphalt, skunks rarely fall victim to steel-belted radials.

That’s why my curiosity has piqued over the last two weeks as I have come upon, over a relatively small area, no less than 5 dead skunks in the middle of the road. It seems to me, for some unknown reason, skunks have been on the move. I know at certain times of the year, (usually springtime) daddy skunks go out in search of mommy skunks, but it’s a bit early for such. Mind you, I did not stop and check to see if the fallen were male or female. It wouldn’t have been worth it.

I have always heard that skunks which are predominately white in color are much more potent (scent wise) than their mostly black, counterparts. I observed one of the slain to be almost totally white. But, again, it would not have been worth it to stop and sniff around.

Many years ago, in a southern Middle Tennessee county, there was a rabies outbreak among the skunk population. According to a life-long friend who lived there, skunks were everywhere. He claimed his neighbor killed 21 skunks in less than a month’s time. Later that year, my friend attended the Tennessee Farm Bureau Convention in Nashville. As he renewed old acquaintances, he noticed some were “acting funny� as they were talking. So much so, that he asked a trusted friend if something was wrong with him.

“Mack,� said his friend, “you smell like a skunk!�

When he returned home and carried out a thorough investigation, he found his entire house smelled of skunk. One of the skunks his neighbor had shot crawled under his house and died in the crawl space. Little by little, the smell of skunk had seeped into everything permeable inside his house. Carpets had to be removed, draperies thrown away, and their clothes were sent out to be fumigated. His wife, Shirley, even took advantage of the opportunity and ordered new kitchen cabinets. That skunk odor has some staying power.

I can attest to that fact as I was once sprayed in the face by a skunk. I think it happened in the vicinity of my 8th year, although I can’t be sure. My father assured me a baby skunk could not spray me. That proved not to be true.

I was standing in full view of that little black-eyed beauty when he (or she) did the quickest about-face I have ever witnessed. With pin-point accuracy, I was sprayed up the left-side of my torso, in my left eye and in my hair. At point-blank range skunk smells nothing like what you smell when you encounter a dead skunk in the middle of the road. It is pure ammonia.

When I returned to my senses, I was sitting in the bathtub as water rushed in and my mother was pouring bleach. Only one thing smells worse than undiluted skunk — undiluted skunk and Clorox. Before sight was restored to my left eye three days later, the white of my eye looked like fresh ground hamburger. The green color in my hair finally faded.

I was well into my teenage years before the slightest smell of skunk didn’t make me gag.

It was hard, but I have since renewed my friendship with Pepe’ Le Pew.