It’s midnight, and I can’t sleep. So instead of just enjoying the quiet hum of the air conditioning, I think. And you know what “that” leads to... I start out thinking about the big birthday that’s coming up and all the things I didn’t do by a self-imposed birthday deadline. Then I remember Thanksgiving will be here before we know it. So, I need to mentally and physically prepare for hosting a day full of brothers, sisters, and in-laws-not to mention nieces and nephews with sticky fingers, loaded diapers and missing parents.
When thinking doesn’t lull me back to sleep, I get out of bed and shuffle to the living room to watch a little TV. If a documentary on the evolution of the cotton gin can’t put me to sleep, nothing will. By the time the narrator begins detailing the life of Eli Whitney, I take note of areas of disorder in the house.
Two light bulbs need to be replaced in the living room, which will require a ladder, which will mean I need to ask my husband where the ladder is, which leads him to ask a ton of questions as to why I need a ladder, followed by a detailed outline of how we will replace each bulb with the most efficiency.
Then I notice the baseboards and see how badly they need to be cleaned and repainted. In fact, the entire house needs to be repainted.
I wonder if I can find someone to do it. Nope, we could just do it ourselves. Sure, that would save money, but we’d kill each other or at the very least call each other very bad names.
It’s already 2 a.m. and I’m now wide awake. Maybe food will do the trick. I know there’s chocolate chip cookies in the pantry. Of course, if I eat those, I’ll need to balance it out with something salty like the brand-new bag of sour cream & onion chips I hid in the pantry because the kids were home last weekend.
No! I shouldn’t eat that junk in the middle of the night. But then when is the best time to eat junk food?
After a very satisfying midnight or 2 a.m. snack, I shuffle back to bed. I try to do what all the experts say we should do when faced with insomnia… Clear your mind. So, I’m clearing my mind.
There’s nothing to worry about. Worry doesn’t help me tackle my to-do list. Worry doesn’t take the mercury out of the salmon I made for dinner. Worry won’t help me lose ten pounds (neither will the cookies and chips for that matter). Worry won’t pay Jackson’s college tuition. But man, if it did, he could go on a full ride “worryship.” No! All this thinking about what worry can’t accomplish isn’t allowing me to clear my mind. Clearing, clearing, clearing until I’m almost asleep then, BOOM! The alarm goes off. My husband who snored most of the night is already up and before I can pour the first cup of coffee he says, “You know you’d feel better if you didn’t stay up watching TV.” Now to remember what experts say you should do when your spouse says something completely moronic?
(0) comments
Welcome to the discussion.
Log In
Keep it Clean. Please avoid obscene, vulgar, lewd, racist or sexually-oriented language.
PLEASE TURN OFF YOUR CAPS LOCK.
Don't Threaten. Threats of harming another person will not be tolerated.
Be Truthful. Don't knowingly lie about anyone or anything.
Be Nice. No racism, sexism or any sort of -ism that is degrading to another person.
Be Proactive. Use the 'Report' link on each comment to let us know of abusive posts.
Share with Us. We'd love to hear eyewitness accounts, the history behind an article.